Sunday, August 30, 2015

Last First Day of School



Goodbye, Target, KMart, WalMart,
Goodbye, grocery stores in strange cities, to buy mac and cheese and granola bars and goldfish and cold medicine,
Goodbye, Staples with overpriced binders and ethernet cords we never needed but bought because they said we needed them, and XL sheets made to fit XL beds they only make for college dorms
and toiletry baskets new each year because the old one
broke
got sticky
is gross
got lost
the handle comes off
isn't mine. You never bought me one.
And surge protector cords.
And Rubbermaid carriers and
stuffed animals being transported to sit on dorm beds
and graphing calculators never needed after one year
and wide ruled paper and pencil boxes and colored pencils and
so many folders (I have an orange one and a red one and a blue one and a green one and I need one more and they don't have any other colors.)
and lunch boxes that will smell bad by October
and juice boxes and fruit rollups
and new shoes because the old ones stopped fitting last week
and new clothes and first day outfits and meeting the bus
and snacks after school as my children run down the road.
Goodbye, children, running down the road.
Twenty two years of school,
of first days and last days,
and here is today, the last first one,
Goodbye, first days
and all the days that followed,
Goodbye my children,
I will miss you.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Stop this train



I'm up!
Tonight because of a load of laundry being run
at 11:30,
last night because of the dog scratching her ear
and I got up and put her on the kitchen counter and poured a shot glass of vinegar water in it.
The night before because where are the keys? Where are the keys?
wherearethekeyswherearethekeys.
And every night John Mayer plays as soon as I open my eyes,
a concert just for me and he's waiting for only me
so he can play just one song over and over.
Stop This Train
don't hunh hunh I' m moving in,
hunh hunh
Stop this train.
My sheets are not crisp.
Everything is so sticky!
The washing machine is not white noise.
I'm so hot!
We need milk. I hope there's enough for coffee.
Does the corroding pipe in the garage hold up the whole house?
What if I'd never noticed?
Would he have noticed?
Once in a while
hunh hunh
I need to eat more fruit. I'll bring raspberries and blueberries tomorrow.
Load
Rinse
Spin
So scared of getting old,
hunh hunh being young.
She's leaving in just a week and a half
I am so sad.
Will John Mayer play every night until I die?
Why does he play every night? Why doesn't he know the words?
Quit snoring!
Never gonna stop this train.
Shut up!
I should get up and read.
The sofa smells like dog.
We should get a new sofa.
I hate my house.
Why do we sleep in this room?
I hate this room.
What is the word, what is the word, what is the word . . .
What the hell am I trying to think of! There is no word, you lunatic!
I am huge.
I need to eat only fruit tomorrow.
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
hunh hunh hunh
Stop this train.

Pattern

I come from a woman who writes, who came from a man who wrote. She's always been clever with words. This isn't mine, it's hers. I found it scrawled on a piece of paper, tucked in between dishes I took from her:



On the back of my dishes
Which I took from my mother
Laying claim long ago
Lest they go to another
Like a sister or daughter
Or heaven forfend
The woman next door
Or the best childhood friend.

The dish on its front
Has a well painted flower
Unknown to my garden
Never seen in my bower
Also starlike shaped dots
Going round the wide brim
They're not to my taste,
They never have been.

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Amerescoggin Road


Just 3 roads away is where they began their lives,
the two people who raised me.
They often told the story of this house, their first home.
They had no furniture and their good friends at the top of the road brought chairs
down to their house
every time they entertained.

It's all I know about this place, really,
and now I've found a booklet of 7 photos,
no people,
all bound together,
all the same photo
of the house they lived in
for a year.

My father must have had a reason
to print 7
and bind them in a booklet.
He was always sharing his photos.
Maybe he planned to.

Soon,
when I get up the nerve,
I'll walk over to the house and offer this booklet,
this little bit of history for them to know.
Here, here is your house in 1952.
My parents lived here.
They had no furniture.